2/24/10: New Logo With The Wheat Things

Dear Dick Wolf:

I forgot to tell you! Our radio show is a finalist for The Shorty Awards! They’re like the Oscars of Twitter. Our category? INNOVATION! Here’s a brief overview:

Cool, huh? Now we can post a fancy logo with the wheat things on our website. You know, like they do for official film festival selections and stuff? It looks so impressive.

Now that I’m a Shorty Awards finalist, you may want to schedule me for a guest star role on Law & Order. It’s OK, my fee is still the same (scale), despite my slight rise in popularity.

I’m available at your earliest convenience.

Thank you. Amen.

Published in: on February 24, 2010 at 7:20 pm  Leave a Comment  
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1/19/09: Sundance

Dear Dick Wolf:

Are you at Sundance? My friend Josh’s girlfriend Fatima (stay with me) is there and she says she’s been hearing rumblings that you’re involved with one of the projects, and that you might be in the vicinity. See:


She tweeted me. Remember, I told you about Twitter? Oh, and those aren’t misspellings, they’re “creative abbreviations.” You’ve gotta condense when you’re on Twitter, because you only get 140 characters to get your message across. Brent Spiner put it best:


Oh, he’s a clever one that Mr. Spiner. He’s only been tweeting for 4 days and already he has over 10,000 followers! See, you really should get a Twitter account. It’s a great way to promote this new project of yours. A lot of celebs are on it. Some are even addicted to it. I think Lance Armstrong needs a Twittervention. He’s ALWAYS on it. Posting pictures usually. I don’t know how he finds time to ride his bike.

So, back to Sundance. If an adorable little brunette comes up to you and tells you about my blog, that’s Fatima. She’s a sweetheart. Oh, and she also tells me that our guy Chris Meloni is there!


So, that’s cool! You and Chris are both there. And I’m here in California…sitting on the computer and telling you about my friend’s girlfriend who’s…there, in Utah. Hobnobbing with y’all at Sundance…while I’m…here. Huh. OK, well, I’m not jealous or anything. I mean, this is Hollywood. Maybe I’ll run into Vincent D’Onofrio in Whole Foods during lunch, or Courtney B. Vance at Rite-Aid. Or Sam Rockwell at Ralphs. Oh, wait a minute:


No, no I won’t. Because apparently SAM ROCKWELL is at Sundance, too! UNBELIEVABLE. And what’s up with bragging about how good he smells, Fatima?? That’s kind-of jerky. Yeah, so you’re at Sundance with my three favorite men in Hollywood. BIG DEAL! It’s not like you’re going to have lunch with them or anything…


Oh, sure. Now she’s trying to be all buddy-buddy with me. Whatever, Fatima! I never liked you much anyway.

So, Mr. Wolf, if this annoying little brunette comes up to you mumbling some nonsense about my blog, tell her to stay away from Sam Rockwell and get back home to her own boyfriend instead of hitting on mine! The floozy.

Thank you. Amen.

Published in: on January 19, 2009 at 8:34 am  Comments (2)  
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1/4/09: By The Way…I’m a Little Famous

Dear Dick Wolf:

Did you get your Twitter account yet? I asked you about it back in May, remember. Maybe you got side-tracked. No big whoop, you can still sign-up.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I made my friend Jason’s Top 10 Tweeps of 2008 list! Cool, huh? And he’s pretty selective, so that means I’m highly entertaining.

Just thought I’d let you know in case you wanted to strike while the iron is hot. I’m available for an audition at your earliest convenience.

Thank you. Amen.


(snapshot of a semi-famous Twitterer’s page)

Published in: on January 4, 2009 at 6:34 pm  Comments (2)