5/13/08: Addiction Is Hard, Y’all.

There are a lot of exciting addictions out there from which to choose. Booze, drugs, gambling, porn, chocolate. We all have something we can’t live without. And whereas I enjoy my fair share of one or two of the aforementioned vices, I have an addiction that’s far more potent than any of them. And I have one man to thank for it – Dick Wolf. I got home at 6:45 this evening and caught the last 15 minutes of a Law & Order episode. It’s now 10:05 p.m. and, counting that one, I’m on my 5th. Hang on, commercial break is over…

OK, back for a few minutes. I don’t know how this addiction started. Oh, wait a minute – yes I do. I got cable a little over a year ago. I’d never had cable. There are about 1,000 channels in my package which, oddly enough, the cable company considers “basic.” And not only did I get cable, but also something I thought was a good idea at the time – a DVR. I have class on Thursday nights and was missing episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, so I opted for a recorder. This was I could go to class AND watch a fave show – BRILLIANT! But then recording Grey’s evolved into recording Grey’s and Nip/Tuck. And Private Practice. And Pushing Daisies. And South Park reruns. And of course, Law & Order: SVU. And being able to watch SVU with the touch of a button, whenever I wanted, just got me a little too giddy. Oops – hang on…

OK, another break. So anyway, as much as it may sound like it, I’m not addicted to television per se. Yeah, I watch the other shows, but with Law & Order, it’s morphed into a viewing obsession. I admit it, but I’m not entirely to blame. Both TNT and the USA Network run the franchise as if they own stock. So although I’m weak, it’s not my fault. These networks have turned me into an addict. I was normal before I got cable. I went to the gym. I read books. I talked on the phone. But now, I lie on the floor in front of the TV, watching L&O. And not just because I want to have Christopher Meloni’s love child. I watch them ALL. The Original, SVU, Criminal Intent

OK, a few more minutes. The episodes tonight were FANTASTIC, btw. I even busted a tear. I can’t remember why – something made me emotional. It was probably Benson. She’s brilliant. Sure, she’s a tough chick, but there’s this wounded side to her that draws you in. Totally mesmerizing…And DAMN, Meloni is a hell of an actor, and I’m not just saying that because of the love child thing. He has this brooding anger that makes you believe you’d feel pretty darn special if he let you in. Oh, to be let in…Yeah, yeah, I realize he’s married, but I can fantasize. It’s the price you pay for being a celeb. People have free reign over programming you into their psyche. Clothing optional…Oh wait, I was talking about his acting prowess. Need more proof? One word – Oz. Well, I’ve never actually seen it, but there are some great scenes on YouTube. You don’t even need sound.

Oh thank God. It’s 11 p.m. and the marathon is over. I can sleep now.

Dear Dick Wolf:

Please put me on Law & Order. Did I mention I’m an actress? I’m an actress. And I’m good. For reals.

Thank you. Amen.

Published in: on May 13, 2008 at 11:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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