Dear Dick Wolf:

Well done! Not that I had any doubt, but Law & Order will be back for yet another season, and now ties the record (with Gunsmoke, but you knew that) for the longest-running series on TV! Twenty seasons! Woo-hoo!

Now, not to be a killjoy, but The Simpsons has been renewed for two more seasons, and y’all are neck and neck. So, you’re going to have to use your influence to push for at least ONE MORE YEAR. I know you can do it. Maybe you should challenge Matt Groening to a celebrity smackdown. Show him who’s boss.

Besides, how can I be on your show if it goes away? I look forward to many, many more seasons. Preferably accompanied by paychecks.

Thank you. Let’s chat soon.


Published in: on May 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm  Leave a Comment  
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5/18/09: Don’t Worry, I’m Fine!

Dear Dick Wolf:

Just a quick note to inform you that I survived the earthquake. It was pretty impressive. Even my cat, who suffers from delusions of grandeur, bolted under the bed in fear. The official word is that it was a 4.7, which – if that’s all – has me even more worried about The Big One.


Perhaps you should put me on Law & Order sooner rather than later, just to be safe. Relocating to New York may be a matter of life and death.

Thank you. Amen.

Published in: on May 18, 2009 at 8:22 am  Leave a Comment  
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5/6/09: Off the Radar Again

Dear Dick Wolf:

Surely you’ve noticed that I haven’t been blogging much. It’s nothing personal, I’m simply swamped and exhausted. Working seven days a week for the past two years is taking a toll. A huge toll. I still adore you. I still want to be on your show.

What’s with the new chick on SVU last night? Is she permanent? I liked her. I know that McManus is leaving for good, so maybe she’s in.

If not, I’m still available for the job. Let’s chat.

Thank you. Amen.

Published in: on May 6, 2009 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  
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