6/6/08: I Think I Need a New Cell Phone


OK, I’ve never bothered to play games on my cell phone, so I’m not hip to what’s new. Imagine my surprise (REALLY?!), delight (yay!) and horror (why didn’t I know about this THREE MONTHS AGO?!) when I found out today about Law & Order Celebrity Betrayal!


As you can imagine, upon reading this I’m drunk with excitement. This is good research! I will play the cell phone game and become a law expert! BTW – did you know that in California you don’t even need to go to law school to become a lawyer? You can be an “apprentice” and if you put in enough hours shadowing a real lawyer and picking his/her brain, you can take the bar exam. Obviously I’m not one to discredit the benefit of experience  – see “street cred” posting – but this seems a little odd to me. However, as a California resident, I have decided to take advantage of our unconventional methods. I will shadow Celebrity Betrayal and, upon mastering the game, take the bar. I’ll totally have a leg-up on the 100 bazillion other actresses who want to usurp my L&O gig.

So, I follow the directions to download the game…I text the word LAW to 55433 like I’m supposed to, and I get this message back: “LAW & ORDER CELEBRITY BETRAYAL: Reply Y to buy for a 1 time charge of $6.99 or monthly charge of $2.99…” Ummm, is it just me or is this a no-brainer? Since I will be playing this game for THE REST OF MY LIFE, the $6.99 option seems the better deal. However, there are no directions detailing how to inform L&O headquarters of my preference. So, I text back “Y” hoping the option will arrive with the next message.

No such luck. I get another message telling me to go to some random website or text back the word HELP if I need, uh, help. I do it…get another confusing message…my head is spinning. Is it my cell phone, I wonder? Is it so archaic and sucky that it can’t even follow simple directions? I’m guessing yes.

(my cell phone)

(That’s me and Terrence Howard. He’s a big fan of mine.)

So the bottom line is: I think I need a new phone. My career may depend on it.

Dear Dick Wolf:

I will look at new cell phones this weekend. If I buy one, I will let you know. My number should be the same, though. I emailed it to you via MySpace.

Oh, and does Celebrity Betrayal come with the L&O theme song? I’m still trying to figure out how to download that as a ringtone.

Also, I’ve had a martini this evening (ok, two). Please disregard any spelling or grammatical errors in this posting. Or anything that doesn’t make any sense in general.

Thank you. Amen.

Published in: on June 6, 2008 at 11:36 pm  Leave a Comment  
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